No War For Magnetite!
<p>I contemplete <a href='http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051209/ap_on_sc/earth_magnetic_pole'>this<br />
news story</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>
Earth&#8217;s north magnetic pole is drifting away from North America and<br />
toward Siberia at such a clip that Alaska might lose its spectacular<br />
Northern Lights in the next 50 years, scientists said Thursday.
</p></blockquote>
<p>The story goes on to say &#8220;exactly why this happens is a mystery&#8221;.<br />
No it isn&#8217;t, or no it won&#8217;t be as soon as the unenlightened masses grasp the<br />
truth: It&#8217;s all George Bush&#8217;s fault for not ratifying the Kyoto treaty.</p>
<p>You see, Halliburton has plans for making huge profits in the<br />
navigational-equipment market.  The pole shift is a nefarious<br />
neoconservative plot to make all existing compasses obsolete.  Mwa ha<br />
ha.  But you can stop it &mdash; just hook up with your local pathetic<br />
Communist-remnant organization and take to the streets screaming &#8220;No<br />
war for magnetite!&#8221;</p>
<p>(The preceding is satire.  Any resemblance to actual moonbat conspiracy<br />
theories is not coincidental in the slightest.)</p>
