The War Against Humorlessness
<p>From <a href="http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2005/12/yuletide_news_n.html">Iowahawk</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>
<big>WICCANS DECRY &#8216;WAR AGAINST SOLSTICE&#8217;</big></p>
<p>Wiccan Coven Association President Ozrius Ravenclaw announced today<br />
that his group would continue a formal economic boycott against<br />
several major US retailers &#8220;until they cease their relentless and<br />
cowardly attack on the Solstice.&#8221;</p>
<p>Retailers affected by the boycott include Target, WalMart, Dollar<br />
General, Mills Fleet Farm, Victoria&#8217;s Secret, AutoZone, and Hy Vee.</p>
<p>&#8220;This is &#8216;Political Correctness&#8217; gone crazy. Where ever you shop these<br />
days, it seems like it&#8217;s &#8216;Happy Holidays&#8217; or &#8216;Seasons Greetings,'&#8221;<br />
said Ravenclaw, who was formerly known as Chuck Sundergard. &#8220;Whatever<br />
happened to a good old fashioned &#8216;All Glory to Gaia&#8217; or &#8216;Jhakkaa<br />
Solztovo Chthulu?'&#8221;</p>
<p>Tractor Supply Company spokesman Kevin Neves denied accusations that<br />
his company instructed sales clerks not to use traditional Wiccan<br />
greetings.</p>
<p>&#8220;We welcome everybody to TSC, regardless of how they celebrate the<br />
season,&#8221; said Neves. &#8220;We even stock a nice assortment of seasonal<br />
animal sacrifice altars, back in Lawn &#038; Garden.&#8221;</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I&#8217;m a Wiccan.  Been one for thirty years.  (Yeah, yeah, &#8220;I was a<br />
Wiccan before it was cool&#8230;&#8221;).  Now, if I were the kind of humorless<br />
gink at which Iowahawk is aiming, I&#8217;d be spluttering with indignation at<br />
this insensitive and hurtful fling at my personal religion thing.</p>
<p>But you know what?  I think it&#8217;s pretty funny.</p>
<p><span id="more-249"></span></p>
<p>See, unlike most members of huge evil monotheistic death cults, I<br />
understand that serious is deadly.  Any spiritual tradition that can&#8217;t<br />
laugh at itself, that can&#8217;t step outside its own dogmas and admit how<br />
absurd it can look from the outside, has already become a cancer.</p>
<p>If you notice that damn few religions can pass this test, you&#8217;re<br />
getting the idea. There aren&#8217;t more than a handful fit to take up room<br />
in a sane human being&#8217;s head.  Thankfully, Wicca is still one of them.<br />
It hasn&#8217;t become deadly serious. Yet, anyway.</p>
<p>Of course, Iowahawk isn&#8217;t actually flinging at Wicca at all.  He&#8217;s<br />
using the entirely fictional &#8220;Ozrius&#8221; as a reductio ad absurdam of Christian conservatives<br />
who really do behave like this.  Joke &#8216;em if they can&#8217;t take a fuck.</p>
<p>I take issue with his satire on only one minor technical point.<br />
What&#8217;s up with this &#8220;Jhakkaa Solztovo&#8221; nonsense? Everybody<br />
knows the <em>correct</em> greeting in the name of Cthulhu is <em>&#8220;Ia! Ia! Cthulhu<br />
R&#8217;lyeh fhtagn!&#8221;</em> Harrumph&#8230;you&#8217;re never<br />
going to successfully invoke any hideous all-devouring Elder Gods if you<br />
keep <em>that</em> up&#8230;</p>
