Yes, testosterone makes people stupid. No, I’m not talking about the men who secrete and metabolize it, I’m talking about the nervous old women of both sexes who pronounce upon it as though it were some sort of demonic drug.
Latest in this parade of absurdity is a study of the effect of handling guns on male testosterone. Lurking behind the study is a clear agenda — the designers wanted to show that guns cause violence. Jonah Goldberg rightly slams this nonsense in National Review Online, reminding us that conservatives may after all be good for something.
I read Jonah’s column while a shreddin’ track from Joe Satriani’s new album Super Colossal poured out my speakers. Hearing what Satch does on a fretboard definitely raises my testosterone level. Should we be banning electric guitars for their aggression-inciting effects, now?
The study involved hot sauce, which I’m pretty sure raises mens’ testosterone levels too. Are we to forbid the import of capsicum peppers on this account?
There’s no end to this sort of silliness, short of recognizing that the people who propagate it are self-panickers who, if the entire planet turned into a brightly colored and harmless Nerf-world tomorrow, would fear their own shadows.
The fault lies not in guitars or hot sauces or testosterone or firearms but in the self-panickers’ tendermindedness and moral infantilism. It’s “Mommy! Mommy! The bad thing made me do it!” amplified and projected on everyone else.
To which the only counter is two words: Grow up!.