46 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
46 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
The War Against Humorlessness
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<p>From <a href="http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2005/12/yuletide_news_n.html">Iowahawk</a>:</p>
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<blockquote><p>
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<big>WICCANS DECRY ‘WAR AGAINST SOLSTICE’</big></p>
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<p>Wiccan Coven Association President Ozrius Ravenclaw announced today<br />
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that his group would continue a formal economic boycott against<br />
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several major US retailers “until they cease their relentless and<br />
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cowardly attack on the Solstice.”</p>
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<p>Retailers affected by the boycott include Target, WalMart, Dollar<br />
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General, Mills Fleet Farm, Victoria’s Secret, AutoZone, and Hy Vee.</p>
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<p>“This is ‘Political Correctness’ gone crazy. Where ever you shop these<br />
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days, it seems like it’s ‘Happy Holidays’ or ‘Seasons Greetings,'”<br />
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said Ravenclaw, who was formerly known as Chuck Sundergard. “Whatever<br />
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happened to a good old fashioned ‘All Glory to Gaia’ or ‘Jhakkaa<br />
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Solztovo Chthulu?'”</p>
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<p>Tractor Supply Company spokesman Kevin Neves denied accusations that<br />
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his company instructed sales clerks not to use traditional Wiccan<br />
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greetings.</p>
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<p>“We welcome everybody to TSC, regardless of how they celebrate the<br />
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season,” said Neves. “We even stock a nice assortment of seasonal<br />
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animal sacrifice altars, back in Lawn & Garden.”</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>I’m a Wiccan. Been one for thirty years. (Yeah, yeah, “I was a<br />
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Wiccan before it was cool…”). Now, if I were the kind of humorless<br />
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gink at which Iowahawk is aiming, I’d be spluttering with indignation at<br />
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this insensitive and hurtful fling at my personal religion thing.</p>
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<p>But you know what? I think it’s pretty funny.</p>
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<p><span id="more-249"></span></p>
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<p>See, unlike most members of huge evil monotheistic death cults, I<br />
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understand that serious is deadly. Any spiritual tradition that can’t<br />
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laugh at itself, that can’t step outside its own dogmas and admit how<br />
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absurd it can look from the outside, has already become a cancer.</p>
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<p>If you notice that damn few religions can pass this test, you’re<br />
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getting the idea. There aren’t more than a handful fit to take up room<br />
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in a sane human being’s head. Thankfully, Wicca is still one of them.<br />
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It hasn’t become deadly serious. Yet, anyway.</p>
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<p>Of course, Iowahawk isn’t actually flinging at Wicca at all. He’s<br />
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using the entirely fictional “Ozrius” as a reductio ad absurdam of Christian conservatives<br />
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who really do behave like this. Joke ‘em if they can’t take a fuck.</p>
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<p>I take issue with his satire on only one minor technical point.<br />
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What’s up with this “Jhakkaa Solztovo” nonsense? Everybody<br />
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knows the <em>correct</em> greeting in the name of Cthulhu is <em>“Ia! Ia! Cthulhu<br />
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R’lyeh fhtagn!”</em> Harrumph…you’re never<br />
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going to successfully invoke any hideous all-devouring Elder Gods if you<br />
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keep <em>that</em> up…</p>
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