20 lines
1.2 KiB
Plaintext
20 lines
1.2 KiB
Plaintext
No War For Magnetite!
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<p>I contemplete <a href='http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051209/ap_on_sc/earth_magnetic_pole'>this<br />
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news story</a>:</p>
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<blockquote><p>
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Earth’s north magnetic pole is drifting away from North America and<br />
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toward Siberia at such a clip that Alaska might lose its spectacular<br />
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Northern Lights in the next 50 years, scientists said Thursday.
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</p></blockquote>
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<p>The story goes on to say “exactly why this happens is a mystery”.<br />
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No it isn’t, or no it won’t be as soon as the unenlightened masses grasp the<br />
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truth: It’s all George Bush’s fault for not ratifying the Kyoto treaty.</p>
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<p>You see, Halliburton has plans for making huge profits in the<br />
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navigational-equipment market. The pole shift is a nefarious<br />
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neoconservative plot to make all existing compasses obsolete. Mwa ha<br />
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ha. But you can stop it — just hook up with your local pathetic<br />
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Communist-remnant organization and take to the streets screaming “No<br />
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war for magnetite!”</p>
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<p>(The preceding is satire. Any resemblance to actual moonbat conspiracy<br />
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theories is not coincidental in the slightest.)</p>
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